Sheldon Brown
Sheldon Brown kept his experience of depression to himself for some years before finally being diagnosed. Not disclosing to his employers that something was wrong made his life very stressful, but experiences within his own family at a young age affected his ability to put into words how he was feeling.
“My mother had a severe mental illness which was never really explained to me,” he recalls.
“We lived in a fairly isolated house, a hundred steps from the local road. Sometimes we had to manhandle her down to an ambulance or down to the car to get her into the city for shock treatment.
“She’s been dead for many years now, and I still don’t understand what the illness was. So I guess getting my diagnosis was a relief to me."
It didn’t solve all Sheldon’s problems, however. Fea rful of losing his high-powered career in public relations, Sheldon didn’t always disclose to his bosses, and in fact took on more work.
“Slowly I had to own up to the fact that I just couldn’t perform at that sort of level all the time, and I would fall over,” he says.
Hospitalisation was a lonely time
Some of Sheldon’s episodes required him to be hospitalised. It was during one of these episodes that his by now strained relationship with his family hindered his recovery.
“The worst experience I had was when I was hospitalised in Dunedin for 11 months. In that time, I virtually didn’t hear from my three children,” he recalls.
“The lack of contact from them was devastating. My eldest son, I think the only contact he initially made after several months was to ask where my car was in Auckland and whether he could borrow it.
“I can accept that it’s very difficult to understand a father who has achieved a lot and is good at what he does, good at sport, generally healthy but then has these mental falloffs…it’s difficult to understand what is happening.”
Families have strong role to play
Nevertheless, despite the difficulties, Sheldon believes that families have a strong role to play in helping loved ones see the light at the end of the tunnel.
“I think one of the most important things you can do for a family member with a mental illness is to let them make their own decisions,” he says.
“Let them work their way towards recovery. Don’t take control away from them. Don’t let them feel impotent. Don’t do things behind their backs, and don’t make them feel that they’re distanced from the decisions, the discussions and the consultations.”
Hospitalisation may not be the best option for someone experiencing a depressive episode.
“Consult your family members about whether going to hospital is the best approach,” Sheldon says. “And certainly try and provide a warm and supportive environment within the home so that hospitalisation doesn’t have to become a reality.”
You can hear Sheldon weekly on PLanet FM as host of the Like Minds, Like Mine radio show Take It From Us, which works to build awareness of mental health and wellness as an aspect of New Zealand's diversity and community well-being. Tune in Tuesdays at 12.30pm on 104.6FM in Auckland. Or listen to the archived shows online.
(first published in Issue 38, September 2009, Like Minds, Like Mine Newsletter)
